Morass

The only way a day is really screwed up is when you screw it up yourself.

And seriously. Today's the most screwed up day I've had in a long time.

Ten Weeks. And the Ghosts of Four Weeks Past

Really, should I take up blogging as a hobby? Laziness is really getting me. Not just in blogging. But in all parts of life. I'm even late for appointments nowadays. Who'd ever think that? I mean, the Joel that used to be half an hour early for everything is gone. Dead and buried.

I'd like to resurrect that past. Not the past of being such a stickler for schedule, but a more uh, on-the-ball attitude.

I mean, the amount of work I've done this holiday is abysmally little. And the amount of fanfic I've read is abysmally lot. I mean, a lot. If I spent half the time I spent on fanfic on mugging bio, I'd probably have read the textbook ten times over. Absolutely ridiculous, I'd say.

But of course. Everyone's slacking off. Everyone says we should take time to relax. But we should also take time to do work too, right? I mean, procrastination just screws you up eventually.

I'd better get my act together in term 3. There's an RInspire issue that needs doing. And ten thousand projects and tests. Absolutely ridiculous.

Ridiculous is becoming my new favourite word. At least for this blog post.

I'm glad I took the time to bond with my friends. And to do things that I hope, make life happier for others. But there never is enough time, is there?

Not to mention I've disappointed my parents again and again. Disappointed myself again and again. I'm not happy with me. But then, who is? Feeling like this is just ridiculous.

Inadequacy is a bad feeling to have.

The ghosts of four weeks past will probably come to haunt me in the next ten weeks. Or maybe, the rest of my life.

Everything is permissble (maybe not everything), but not everything is beneficial. I've got to choose. Wisely.

I hate making decisions. Ridiculous.


P.S. Hope you all are happy with this nice LONG post. ><

Thanks

Thanks for all the birthday wishes.

They didn't go to waste! =)

Mood Swings

I am disappointed at myself .

I'm such a hypocrite.

And I wish I could be both sensitive and insensitive at the same time. To different things, of course.

I'm going on a English and Chinese reading spree, but all I'm reading is books that probably won't improve my erudity. If there's such a word. Chick flicks and all. >< At least its fun.

The usual mix of teenage angst, just that I not angsty. I forget things too fast.

Lets go make geog notes.


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Good and Bad

Good and bad things have happened these past few days.

Firstly, my lack of self-control is still haunting me. Secondly, I almost flunked my math test. Screw it. All my hard work.

But. On the bright side, I ran a 10 min 32 sec 2.4 run. My best timing by far! Thank God. And I played half-court not bad today. Full court game was horrible though. =((


Back to bio.

Rediscover

Talking to old friends still has its fun and it interesting bits.

Refreshing, and encouraging, to talk with people that you can trust. =)

Ah well. Not too bad today.

I don't feel like going school tomorrow.

><

Disappointed.

I'm really disappointed in myself. I keep telling myself that I'll change, but my resolve never really lasts that long. So I end up each day feeling that I'm a great failure.

I need to buck up. I hate hormonal imbalances as well. Immature thoughts are irritating. =(

Right now, I'm not quite busy, but I still managed to screw up several of my tests. Pathetic.

Most of all, I just can't seem to be less self-centered and more attuned to others. I keep saying the wrong things, or not putting what I want to say in the correct manner.

Sad life.

But I must still be thankful. It could be a hell lot worse. Thanks for the patience.